i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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