I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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