Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
