franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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