WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
