I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
