I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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