I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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