at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize