I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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