WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
