summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Randomize
