i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
