The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
