Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I look better un-naked...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
