She announced her abortion via fbk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
