I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
