This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Let's get the cat blown out
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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