sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
...so i touched it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
