So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
