I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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