Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
