dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
40s are totally the cure
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
