I have demons in me.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
