Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Alive.
So much puke
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
