Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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