i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
