just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
