I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
