If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
