I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
