Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize