and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
