You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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