just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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