the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
