Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
