plz talk dirty to me
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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