DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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