you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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