sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you would pick up someone in the library
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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