No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
