You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
