Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
