Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
