i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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