We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
