If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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