dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
