he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
