Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
