clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
