Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
