Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
