i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize