p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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