my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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