At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is Oprah even human
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
